BS”D
The Zohar tells us that Yom Kippur, the most spiritual day of the year, is really, Yom Hak’purim, which means “a day like Purim.” (Tikkunei Zohar 21: 57b)
The essence of this connection is that the two days are actually similar. On both days, a Jew can experience spiritual elevation and closeness to God, and on both days there is a tremendous potential for teshuva. What can be obtained on Yom Kippur by fasting, praying and abstaining from the physical world, can be obtained on Purim, though at a higher level, by serving God b’simcha within the physical world.
Given that Purim is such a holy day, how do we, as women, connect to the holiday’s spiritual side? After all, women don’t traditionally drink much (if any) wine on Purim, and while the meals may be enjoyable, it may not lead to the level of simcha that men have.
Plus, Purim as a mother can be a busy, physically exhausting day. After hearing the Megilla… managing meshalach manos… costumed kids… the preparation, serving and cleaning up from two meals… inebriated guests… and our children who are drunk on candy, cake, and other “goodies”… we may also drunk, but with exhaustion!
The miracle of Purim was initiated by a woman, and we are personally obligated in all of the mitzvahs of the day: hearing the Megilla twice, Matanos La’evyonim (giving gifts to the poor), sending meshalach manos (portions of food to at least two people), eating a festive meal and experiencing simcha:
As the days when the Jews rested from their enemies, and the month that was reversed for them from grief to joy and from mourning to a festive day-to make them [the two days of Purim] days of drinking and joy, and sending portions one to another, and gifts to the poor.
Megillas Esther 9:22
Since Hashem doesn’t obligate a person to do something that he or she can’t, then what does Hashem want from women on Purim? How can we come to a deep level simcha on this day?
Rava said, “A person has the obligation to become intoxicated on Purim until he does not know the difference between ‘cursed is Haman’ and ‘blessed is Mordechai.’”
אמר רבא מיחייב איניש לבסומי בפוריא עד דלא ידע
בין ארור המן לברוך מרדכי
Megilla 7b
How do we become so “intoxicated” that we don’t know the difference between “cursed be Haman” and “blessed be Mordechai”?
Three Big Confusions Surrounding the Story of Purim
Of course there is an answer. But to get there, we need to address three fundamental questions:
1. The first one concerns Mordechai HaTzaddik who wouldn’t bow down to Haman. Halacha does not forbid bowing to a king. Throughout Tanach there are a number of examples of Jews bowing to non-Jewish rulers, such as Yosef’s brothers bowing to him thinking he was an Egyptian ruler. Yaakov even bowed to Eisav seven times. So why did Mordechai imperil the entire Jewish people by openly refusing to bow to Haman? He could have just walked discreetly away when Haman was approaching.
2. Then there is the question of Esther HaMalka. When Mordechai informs her about Hammon’s decree and then tells her to go into Achashveirosh to plead on the Jews behalf, she seemingly hesitates.
This hesitation appears strange.
As excruciating as the situation was, didn’t Esther realize that Hashem had put her there for a reason? Chazal testify to the fact that she was righteous. She did, after all, grow up in the house of Mordechai, and if according to some opinions she was married to him, then that alone is further testimony to her righteousness. Chazal also affirm, that she maintained her connection to Hashem and to Yiddishkeit, and continued to seek Mordechai’s advice throughout her time in Achasveirosh’s palace. There is even a Midrash that says when Achashveirosh’s servants came to take her, she heard a Bas Kol telling her that she would become the Queen.
3. The last question is about a well-known gemara that states on Purim the Jews accepted the Torah anew as it says in the Megilla: “they kept and accepted it upon themselves.”
Chazal explain that the difference between the days of the Persian exile and matan Torah is that by Har Sinai, Hashem held a figurative mountain over our heads, forcing us into acceptance. By Purim, however, we willingly and wholeheartedly accepted the Torah, with love and simcha.
But, wait a second…
We know that there was a gazeiras shmad (a decree of destruction) on all the Jews. Men, women, and children, young and old were to be exterminated in one day. Hashem did a great miracle for the Jews and they were saved. They then accepted the Torah anew out of gratitude. Why is this exceptional? Wasn’t Haman’s decree like a mountain over their heads?
The Common Thread
These questions are all connected…
QUESTION 1:
Let’s start with Mordechai and his refusal to bow down to Haman. In Midrash Esther Rabba, it brings an interesting conversation between Mordechai and the king’s servants, who according to one view, were Jewish judges (dayanim) (Midrash, Yalkut Shimoni):
The King’s Servants: We find that your ancestors bowed down before the ancestors of Haman.
Mordechai: Who was it that bowed down before the ancestors of Haman?
The King’s Servants: Did not your ancestor Yaakov bow down before Eisav his brother, who was Haman’s ancestor?
Mordechai: I am descended from Binyamin and when Yaakov bowed down before Eisav, Binyamin was not yet born and he did not bow down before any human all his days, as a result of which the Eternal One of the World guarded him in his mother’s womb, until the time that they would go up to Eretz Yisrael and the Temple would be rebuilt in its land, and the Shekhinah would dwell within its borders, and all the House of Israel would rejoice there and all the nations will bow down and submit in the Land.
As for me, I shall not bow down and submit before the evil Haman in front of this gate.
Chazal tell us that the Jews enjoyed their participation in the feast of Achashveirosh– a feast established as a celebration of the fact that the Jewish nation had not returned from exile and that Hashem had apparently abandoned His people (Megilla 12a). Before this incident, the Jewish people were content to live their lives in galus within the Persian empire and did not long to return to Eretz Yisrael, nor rebuild the Temple.
They had despaired of ever being redeemed. In the inner most recesses of their hearts they started to believe that Hashem had truly abandoned them. Mordechai knew that this yeush, this despair, and apathy were very dangerous to the preservation of the Jewish people, since it would eventually lead to their assimilation.
If the Jews would no longer listen to him, then he had to set the example. Come what may, he knew that Hashem, though His Presence may have be hidden, had not truly abandoned the Jewish people.
There is a saying, that if the Jews don’t make kiddish, the goyim make havdala. Chazal tell is that between the Jewish people and Eisav, from whom Amalek is a descendant, there is the dynamic that when one is up the other is down. If the Jews are connected to Hashem and following His Torah, they will rule over Eisav. When the Jews are weak in their avodas HaShem, then Hashem sends Eisav to force them to do teshuva.
We see this in the Torah’s account of incident at Refidim (Shemos 17:7-8). Shortly after the awesome revelation of Krias Yam Suf, the Jewish people faltered in their emunas Hashem to the point that they asked themselves, “Hayesh Hashem b’kirbeinu?” (Is Hashem among us?).
Rashi explains that Refidim is “Rafu yedeihem min haTorah.” That is, they were weak in their study of Torah. Precisely, when they felt weak in their connection to Torah and Hashem, Amalek was given the opening and the strength to attack.
Mordechai HaTazaddik no doubt knew about this dynamic, and we could explain his refusal to bow as more than just setting an example or avoiding a situation of avoda zara, as some Sages have suggested. Perhaps, he reasoned, if he, as their spiritual leader combined with their Torah learning and mitzvahs were not enough to bring the Jewish people back to Hashem, then the threat of Amalek would be.
But, Mordechai had to show the Yidden that in order to fight Amalek, you have to be strong– especially at the “gate” of teshuva. At some point, you have to take a stand.
You have to do what you can to maintain your connection to Hashem, His Torah, and Truth even when you’ve made mistakes and have fallen from your previous spiritual level. Never, ever give up; never, ever bow down. Because once you give in to yeush and you weaken in your emunah, even a little, then you give Amalek– which is the physical representation of the yatzer hara– an opening to attack.
QUESTION 2:
Now there is Esther HaMalka… Why was she so hesitant to obey the words of Mordehcai, and why did she seem to put self interest ahead of the needs of the Jewish people?
There is a Midrash brought in the Toldos Am Olam that gives us a different perspective on Esther’s actions. According to this Midrash, when Esther received the message from Mordechai about Haman’s decree, she said to herself:
Now the Jews will lift their eyes to me, placing their trust in nobles, in a simple, mortal woman who has no power to help. For they will claim, ‘we have a sister in the king’s palace…’ and because of me their hearts will be distracted from tefilla and pleading to the Almighty for Mercy.
She thus acted with great insight and wisdom, and sent back the following message:
Everyone knows that whoever comes to the king’s inner court without being summoned is put to death- except for the one to whom the king extends his golden sceptor. He may live. As for me, I have not been summoned to come to the king in the past 30 days. The king has already turned his kindness and love from me- it is not in my power to help.
When Mordechai understood this to mean that she did not wish to endanger her life, he sent back the harsh message that is recorded in the Megilla:
Do not think that you will escape [the fate of] all the Jews by being in the king’s palace. For if you will remain silent at this time, relief and salvation will come to the Jews from another source, and you and the house of your father will be lost. And who knows if it is not for just such a time that you reached this royal position.
Megillas Esther 4:14
When Esther received this harsh response, she was… over-joyed!
“Now the Yidden will no longer lift their eyes to me,” she thought to herself. “They will say, ‘all these years she has been sitting so closely with the king. We no longer have a sister in the king’s palace. We have no one to rely on but our Father in Heaven.’” Now, thought Esther, “I am going to meshiras nefesh will sacrifice myself for them!” And with that she called upon all the Jews to fast for her.
QUESTION 3:
On to the third question… What is the difference between how the Jews accepted the Torah at Har Sinai and their acceptance of the Torah in the days of Mordechai and Esther?
When the Jews left mitzrayim they were surrounded by open miracles. Not only did they witness the ten plagues and the splitting of the sea, but they had the Clouds of Glory, the manna, and Miriam’s well. Hashem was with them and showering them with open expressions of Divine Love.
When the Jews accepted the Torah at Har Sinai, Chazal tell us that Hashem held a mountain over their heads. The gemara offers many interpretations of what exactly that mountain was. One is that they were showered with such an intense expression of Divine Love, that they couldn’t refuse. But regardless, the point is that there was such a strong over-powering revelation of Hashem that we basically had no choice but to accept the Torah.
By the Persian exile there weren’t any open miracles, no manna nor Clouds of Glory. In fact, it seemed as if Hashem had abandoned them. They were steeped in yeush, and it was this very yeush that led to their going to Achasheiverosh’s feast.
When Esther HaMalka called the Jews together for the fast, a miracle happened– a miracle so big that the open revelations at Krias Yom Suf and Har Sinai paled in comparison.
Instead of falling further into their depression, all the Jewish people as one– men, women, and children, young and old– strengthened themselves. They reaffirmed their emunah in Hashem even though His Presence was hidden, and even though they were not surrounded by miraculous events. Most importantly, they did this from a place of simcha.
We know that Hashem runs His world mida ceneged mida, measure for measure. Purim is a day of Simcha because the Jews were b’simcha, doing teshuva, praying for mercy and fasting at a time when all seemed lost and hopeless. It’s for this that they were rewarded.
But we need to clarify what Simcha means. Simcha is an inner light and peace, a sense of clarity, and connection to truth. It’s knowledge of Hashem that has penetrated the heart. For this reason, we can be crying, begging Hashem for mercy, and still be b’simcha, because our tears and petitions are only an expression of our emunah that everything Hashem does is for the good, that Hashem is listening to our requests, that He will give us exactly what we need, and that Hashem has infinite ways to bring a yeshua– one that can come in a instant.
When we are b’simcha, the whole world could seem to be crashing down around us, turned on its head, and hopeless. Storms could be raging, but we don’t budge. We are not moved from the truth we know in our hearts, nor from our connection to Hashem. Instead, we see every experience as an opportunity to grow spiritually, gain clarity and wisdom, and ultimately come closer to Hashem.
Connecting the Dots
In Megillas Esther, Hashem’s name not mentioned, but He’s there– running the show behind the scenes. So too, in every difficulty in our lives, Hashem is right there with us, even if we can’t see Him.
When the miraculous turnaround of Purim manifested itself and Hashem’s Hidden Presence was revealed, we can now understand why the Jews accepted the Torah anew with such an outpouring of love and simcha. Before this revelation, they were already coming from a deep place of hakores hatov (gratitude) and love for their Creator. It’s only natural that when the yeshua came, that they only intensified these emotions.
This remains our goal today…
Sometimes Hashem connects to us through that which is openly tov (good), these are the Mordechai’s in our lives; other times we are faced with situations that on the surface seem rah (bad), these are the Hamons. The reality, however, is that they are all from the same Source, and they are all meant to bring us to the same place. While it may be hard to realize this at other times during the year, on Purim it’s possible because of the intense spiritual influence that comes down into the world on this day.
We just have to want to tap into it.
Remember the quote about getting intoxicated on Purim?
Rava said, “A person has the obligation to become intoxicated on Purim until he does not know the difference between ‘cursed is Haman’ and ‘blessed is Mordechai.’”
אמר רבא מיחייב איניש לבסומי בפוריא עד דלא ידע
בין ארור המן לברוך מרדכי
Megilla 7b
The literal way to translate this passage is that a person should be intoxicated, not through drinking, but b’puraya, with Purim itself! We are required to be inebriated with the lessons and spiritual influence of Purim– through teshuva, tefilla, and gemilas chasidim. All the minchagim of Purim are meant to be tools to help us achieve this level.
And it’s a reason why it is so important for women to set aside some time (even a few minutes) in the days leading up to Purim (especially on Taanis Esther) as well as on Purim itself, to daven to Hashem and to think about the day. To not just go though the motions of Purim, but to be fully present within it.
In this way, we can come to a level of simcha and inner peace that can rub off on those around us:
All generations are redeemed by virtue of
the righteous women of their generation.
Yalkut Shimoni, Ruth: 606
On that note, may we all be zoche to feel HaShem’s closeness on Purim, to know that everything- even the most difficult, hopeless situations, can be turned around, and to reach a level true inner Simcha. And of course, may we merit to see the coming of Moshiach, bemeheira b’yameinu!